5 Tips For Parents To Make Permitting Risky Play A Little Easier.

Today, I’m going to look at 5 tips for parents to make permitting risky play a little easier.

I took an indepth look at risk and Forest School yesterday if you’d like to find out more about it. Let’s just take a moment though to remember what risky play is.

Simply it is play that is thrilling and exciting with the potential for physical injury. Basically someone could very well need a plaster.

This type of play is challenging, it tests limits and it helps children to establish boundaries. It is also essential for healthy physical and psychological development in children.

But again I went much much deeper on this sweeping statement in the last video.

So what might it look like when a child performs risky play?

It could include things such as climbing, sliding, balancing jumping and hanging, rolling or using potentially dangerous tools.

Ellen Sandseter and early childhood academic and renowned expert in risky play, goes further and identifies 6 main areas of play children seek out, namely

Rapid speeds
Dangerous tools
Dangerous elements
Rough and tumble
Great heights
Disappearing or getting lost

Now, as we also spoke about yesterday it can be really difficult for parents not to over protect their child. But knowing how risky play will benefit your child can lead to a trade off of emotions within a parent. Well here are 5 tips to make permitting risky play a little easier.

By the way, before I get going regardless if you have a boy or a girl they both seek the same experiences. However, parents can often allow a sort of gender bias to creep in perhaps unknowingly.

Many parent will encourage messy, risky little boy adventurers and don’t do quite as well with the girls. Trust me girls enjoy a risky play adventure just as much as boys and may even egg them on!

Alright! Let’s get into it.

1. Trust the children

One of the most important things to remember when it comes to risky play is to trust the children.

They may be motivated to explore their boundaries but they also know their capacities, often a lot better than you will. They know what they’re ready for.

What might be thrilling for one child could be traumatic for another, and that’s why you have to let children decide their own level of risk.

This is why I don’t encourage parents to suggest what risky play is done or place a child in a risky play situation, they may not be ready for. I used the example yesterday of when parents, innocently, place their child into a tree.

If a child couldn’t get up there by themselves, there is no way they will able to get themselves down safely. That experience may also really affect that child. Remember, they’re ready when they’re ready.

But by hitting that sweet spot, and allowing children to find their own ‘discomfort zone’, you’ll provide a thrilling learning environment for your little ones.

2. Assess the risk as you go (a.k.a dynamic risk assessment)

Of course, there will be times where even with a child’s best judgement they may approach a risky play opportunity that is too great for them.

This is perfectly normal and part of the learning process and is why you are there to offer a helping shoulder if needs be, so they can understand why something might be too great.

You don’t want your children’s lives to be in danger, or any serious injury to be likely, but by giving them these opportunities to choose for themselves, weight up the pros and the cons and to make a decision that is the benefit of risky play for their long term life skills.

When assessing something, in your mind you should weigh up what are the benefits and what are the potential risks or things that could happen. Simply if the potential injuries are minor or unlikely then the benefits probably outweigh the risks.

Is something guaranteed to be seriously dangerous, even with tweaks to make it safer? Well, then it’s probably not OK. Is there a low chance of bumps, grazes, or cuts, but huge amounts of benefits coming their way? Maybe that’s alright. These marks help children to manage their own bodies and it’s simply a part of growing up.

3. Don’t always help

It’s difficult to resist the urge to help a child when they’re struggling, but by interfering, you’re stopping a potentially valuable learning experience.
Falling, failing, hurting yourself a little — that’s all part of the process of managing your body and understanding risk.

Getting your intervention right as a parent is the key to getting risky play right. Just like your children in this situation it will be something you learn as you go along. But remember and think through points 1 and 2 everytime you catch yourself wanting to step in.

There’s also another way you can support without direct intervention and even from afar. It’s also one of my favourite methods….

4. Ask the right questions

We all know the power of open-ended questions, but nowhere are they more important than in risky play.

Your language is very important when it comes to risky play. You don’t want to say no (unless it really is life-threatening) and you need to be careful not to pass over your own fears in the way you speak. ‘It’s too high’ and ‘Come down from there’ are sentences that need to be shelved.

Oh and if you are going to use ‘Take Care’ explain what of and why you have said this. As otherwise your child will not have a clue what they should or should not be careful of.

Instead, you can use language that encourages children to more carefully consider what they’re doing. Try questions like:
• Where should your foot go next?
• Do you feel safe?
• Does that feel wobbly?

You can also consider asking them to talk you through their decisions to make sure they really are thinking about their own next steps.

5. Make the time

The more children repeat this the more they will become good at managing their own risks and the minor injuries will lessen. A good word of advice is if you are committed to risky play your child is in the middle of something try not to rush them to keep to a schedule.

Attempt to be more flexible and allow them time to work out their own way off or down from a situation in their own time to ensure they stay focused on what they are doing.

Moving a child on when they’re close to a result, or when they’re engrossed in something risky can be damaging to their confidence and cause behavioural problems.

There are my 5 tips to make permitting risky play a little easier. If you go all in and understand the crucial role that risky play performs in a child’s development, the payoff is so, so worth it.

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